RESILIENT CHILDREN USUALLY HAVE AT LEAST ONE GOOD ADULT ROLE MODEL

Growing up as a military brat and dealing with changes in school, friends and homes can result in instability in one's childhood. The close relationships I developed with our maid, Eliska, my Grandpa Freddie, plus several close friends, assisted in me developing resilience while growing up. Being lonely because of our family's social isolation in Heidelberg, I often wished we could move to the army base so I would find more friends my age. I also daydreamed of moving in with our maid's family near Cologne, north of the city where we lived. However, that was not meant to be. I learned to become more independent by reading a lot during the summer when there was no one to play with my  age. We continued to live off base after we moved back to the states. Again, I had to find nonmilitary friends as most kids who lived off base were civilians. Civilian children just didn't understand the culture of the military family, the constant moving around, making new friends every few years, the authoritarianism of following Dad's orders, making one's bed according to guidelines set by the parents, turning out bedroom lights at certain hours, and never being late for dinner. Close relationships I had with our maid, Eliska, various friends and Grandpa Freddie salvaged the discomfort I often felt in not being able to meet my parents' stiff standards. It saved my self-esteem and assisted me in developing into an adult with self-confidence and poise. Below are pictures of Eliska and Grandpa Freddie.

MILITARY BRATS MAKE FRIENDS EASILY

Because of all the moving around from place to place, Brats normally make friends easily make friends easily. They are forced to. Sometimes they live off base where there aren't too many American children available to play with. Also, exposing them to different cultures assists them in making new friends. I know that I learned to be more tolerant of those from different cultures either in the United States or in foreign countries. Besides learning new languages, I learned to eat new foods and learned about different holidays which I participated in with my family and American friends. Traveling to other countries and parts of the USA is an education in itself. This was one of the positive aspects of living abroad.

Pictured above in the picture is on the left, me, my sister, and Jimmy, a lieutenant colonel's son, who lived across the street from us in Heidelberg, Germany, in the fifties.

CONNECTING WITH BOOK REVIEWERS

After reading my memoir, several book reviewers have commented that they experienced similar events in their own lives as military brats. It feels comforting that I am the only or one of the few brats who experienced alcoholism in the family (in my case my mother, and later my younger sister), physical abuse, and feelings of aloneness while relocating so many times to different states and countries. Making new friends at each new location, getting used to new schools and climates was interesting but also demanding. Often I changed locations every year, mostly every two years, though. I also attended three third grades and found each school challenging. Because of these childhood challenges, I decided never to enter the service, myself, or ever marry a serviceman. I didn't wish any future children I may have to experience the same instabilities which I did.

 

From left, myself, my sister Marilyn and our neighbor, Michael, who lived across the street from us. I was nine, my sister, five,  and Michael was 10 at the time, in Heidelberg, Germany, in front of our home.