HOW I MADE PEACE WITH MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

It wasn't until I was able to assist my family with their medical needs and with getting an assistant living for my father to live in was I able to come to peace with the abuse they showered on me while I was a child. This didn't take place until after my husband retired from his job in New York and we moved to Florida in 2000. Noticing the grief my father experienced after the deaths of my mother and my sister in the year 2004 and losing his home in a move to an assisted living created much compassion in me. I felt it must have been very difficult for this former military officer to have to give up his home, lose his wife and youngest daughter to alcoholism and drugs, and then move to a residential living for seniors. Also, my helping my mother after she moved to two nursing homes before she passed away encouraged me to forgive her as well. She had always been an independent woman, taking care of my sister and me while my father served overseas and went to other states for combat training. His tour overseas in Iran lasted for two full years and sometimes she barely had enough monies to pay for our groceries since she depended on him for support checks. I have also forgiven my sister for all the money she stole from my parents' bank accounts to buy drugs, fancy clothes,  and take vacations with. My sister, Marilyn, had struggled paying bills for years while she was married to her husband, Steve, who couldn't hold a job for more than two years. She probably thought she had a right to steal since her husband and her never took a vacation in the 20 years they were married. I say that tongue in cheek, of course, but it's possibly the reason why. Yet I'll never know. The past is the past and can't be changed. We just have to accept things for what they are.

My mother, sister Marilyn and myself (in the red dress) in 1948, the year my sister was born

My parents in 1954